I was recently in the hospital because somewhere inside of my gastrointestinal tract I had a bleed. So I’d like to share why Stoicism is so much better than a bleed in your long ass digestive snake organ.
1. You can die from a gastrointestinal bleed. You can also die from practicing Stoicism. But dying for Stoicism will make you a badass martyr.
2. Gastrointestinal bleeds can be very difficult to locate and fix. You can easily find Stoicism with a quick google search and if you find Stoicism’s metaphysics to be broken you can easily replace the metaphysics with modern scientific materialism. Its ethics adapts well to a variety of possible metaphysics.
3. GI bleeds are sometimes painful. Stoicism can sometimes mean enduring discomfort. But man is the eudaimonia worth it!
4. GI bleeds often means staying in the hospital which can be quite expensive. Stoicism is only somewhat expensive if you buy all that ridiculous memento mori merchandise and spend money covering your body with Seneca quotes.
5. GI bleeds often happen unexpectedly. Stoicism is all about expecting the unexpected. It usually means preparing for the worst. In fact, GI bleeds aren’t even the worst. There are so many worse things you can imagine happening to yourself while you imagine yourself simultaneously unperturbed.